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I'm having problems with my dad (Son)

Updated: Mar 25

Welcome to Walid Rafo Advice!





I am a Spiritual Counsellor and I have opened up this site to help those in need. Specifically, those who are encountering certain obstacles in life. It is a great blessing to be in this position. A position where I can help others just as Christ has helped others. Most things I have had experience with, and others I have learned from. Either way, I do not answer questions I am not knowledgable of. I will take my time to respond if I must. Either way, I will make sure that your question is answered as soon as possible, and to get you the assistance you need through my writing.


Whenever you have problems with your father, whether he picks on you or impacts your mood in a negative way, show him love and respect. Say, "Thank you for anything you say. You are my father." This will be the work of the Holy Spirit thinking in you. The gift for any child is the Father and Mother. Apologize to your father if you have ever offended him or if he feels that you offended him in any way. Kiss his hand and hug him. Embrace him with love. Always be filled with love and respect.


Now, if your father does not accpet your love, bow, and walk away. Before you leave, say to him "Ever since I was a child you grew me, protected me and took care of me. Now is my time to take care of you. To show you all my respect and love for you. Dad, when you change your mind about me I will always be ready because I will always love you with all fo my heart until the end of my life." Say this if he does not accept you. Then, walk away.


In all your best, go to the church. Pray to our Lord Jesus and dearest Mother Mary. They will assist you. They can help to change the mind of your father and reunite. A relationship so filled with love. The main thing in your life, the greatest weapon, is your prayer to the Lord who is in heaven. He will receive your answer filled with good intentions through Jesus Christ, and he will act. As we know, he is our saviour and our redeemer.


An example I want to give is the relationship I have with my son. In general, I have a fantastic relationship with all of my kids. I have one son and two daughters. But because this question was asked from a son, I will answer how my relationship with my son is.


I grew all of my children in a spiritual life ever since they were little. I took them to church, to study and serve in the Holy Church, we prayed together, fasted, e.t.c. Because of my decision to grow them in spirituality and respect and filled with love. I disciplined them with the appropriate measures because I know that when they grow older they will love and take care of me for the beautiful way they have turned out. Without discipline and spoiling, they will hate me when they grow older.


My son for example, has never had an issue with me whatsoever. He is spiritual, knows my standards of respect and love, and he obeys. I have a chapel at home that we pray in and we are always united by the power of the Holy Spirit.


The key between a good relationship between a parent and their child is keeping God in the center. There will be great peace. Without God, you will find chaos and disorientation. There will be no love but a relationship filled with separation. Without God, they will build hate instead of love. They will become distant from one another instead of remaining united.


When you allow the devil to be in the center of the family you will always find trouble. You will be filled with bad thoughts and hate against your family. Do not forget and remember my teachings. Always place the Lord in your heart, and the blessed Mother Mary also. In the name of Jesus Christ you will be well all the days of your life.


I'd like to share a story with you:


There once was a son who worked with his father all of his life. They were a very wealthy family and they had plenty of their own shares together. The son said to his father, "Father, I want my own share of money and I want to go far away and live my own life." The father did what the son asked and the son took his money happily and went on his way. A few months went by and the son spent all of his money on foolish things. He had nothing left. He started working for a local farmer taking care of the pigs. He was so hungry that he started to eat the food of the pigs. Later on when he came to his senses, he went towards his fathers home wishing to reunite with him. His father saw him from a distance and was filled with gladness. He ran towards his son and his son towards his father. The son went on his knees before his father and asked for forgiveness. The father immediately forgave his son and brought him into great wealth once again.


This story I would like of you to keep in mind. For no matter what happens, the relationship between the father and the son will always be filled with great love. Even if there is no love, the love of Christ will be like the lighter that sparks the flame for the candle.


Todays dream truly touched my heart. In this dream, you will see how God chooses certain people in the world. How he has a soft spot for them. It is true that God loves us all unconditionally, and that none of us are hated. None of us are favoured more than the other, however, the Lord is closer to certain people than others. This is not to say that he favours those more, but that they have drew close to the Lord themselves.


For example, Jacob in the Bible spoke with his son Joseph more than the rest of his children. As a father, he loved all of his children, however, he had a soft spot for Joseph. He spoke with Joseph more and had a closer bond. In the same way, God loves all of his children. He communicates more with those who are close to him because they are open to his message.


On the day I had this dream, my father was upset with me. I was joking around at home with my mom, but nothing was said with bad intentions. We both enjoy joking around with each other. We're what you can say, the jokers of the family. When my father finished his prayers in our chapel, he came out of the room and became angry with me for the way I was speaking to my mom. He told me that I should "give respect to your mother" and to "learn how to speak." He was very upset with me that day.


My father is a very respectful and loving person. He always tells us that we can pick on him, but don't pick on each other. He always wants everyone to show love to each other. Whenever my eighteen year old sister would fight with my mom, my father would always intervene and make peace between them. He never let them go to sleep angry. If they have a fight during the night time, he says, "No ones going to sleep until there's peace. No ones going to sleep in anger or in tears." Then, he would pull the two over to each other to hug and make peace. It works every, single, time! You go dad!


But, because my father misunderstood our conversation he was very upset with me. The next day when I went out with him, he had a big talk with me in the car. I'll tell you exactly what he said, "I don't like the way you were talking with mom yesterday. I grew you to give respect to everybody in the house and out, and I couldn't believe I heard you talking like that yesterday. She's your mother. She cooks for you, she cleans for you, she does laundry for you, she does shopping for you, she cares for you. There's so many things she does for you, and you have to give her respect. I always want to see my wife happy, make sure you're not the one that's going to make her sad. Honestly, Roberto, I'm very disappointed in you because of this. When we go home, you're going to hug her and you're going to say sorry. Don't tell her I talked with you, by yourself go and do it."


My father never wanted us to tell mom that he had a big talk with us because he wanted her to feel that we realized without intervention. And, that's exactly what I did. She laughed because she knew we weren't serious when we were talking.


I was very sad that day because I let the heart of my father down. I cannot live knowing my father is upset. I just can't. I know all the love he's shown to all of us and it just bothers me to know that I'm the one that caused him to be upset.


When I went to sleep that night in tears and sadness, I had a dream:


I saw a large group of people standing around a big rocket ship. The type that they send off to space. I was interested and went to look. Next thing I know, the people are pulling me and pushing me to the front. I saw my father and little sister helping to push me in the rocket. I heard the astronomers there saying that this is a test rocket, and hasn't been deemed safe to launch. I was scared straight in my dream. I was knocking on the window begging the people to let me out, but the countdown started...5...4...3...2...1...Takeoff! And at once, I was launched into the sky. While I was flying, I was very tense because I knew that in any minute now, this rocket can stop and fall straight down. Thankfully, it made it straight to space, and stopped right beside the moon! Unfortunately, I wasn't wearing a space suit, and I knew that it wasn't a good idea to step out. I was sitting, when all of a sudden I saw demons coming straight towards me from the other side. They had swords and were charging at me. I was scared. At just that moment I felt the spirit of the Lord saying, "Strike your left chest with your right hand once, and I will give you the heart of stone." I striked my chest at once, and felt great power. I opened the door and could breathe somehow. I had strength to attack the demons. I ran straight to each one and hit each one down. There were about thirteen demons, and with one hit each they all fell down. Then, I started to float back to the rocket to wait. Just before I was about to enter the rocket, I heard a loud demonic scream. I knew this was defenitely going to be a big monster. I turned around, and saw a humongous devil. I don't even know how to explain it's height measurements, but it was huge! I panicked. Before it was able to charge at me, I saw a sword go straight through its back, it died, and fell down. When it fell, I saw Saint Michael standing with power. He came to me with a yellow light surrounding him. He moved forward towards me. He said, "Was it good timing that I'm here?" I answered, 'Thank you.' He smiled, and held my arm. He said, "The Lord is waiting for you." I was worried because I thought that maybe the Lord was upset with me because I upset my father. I answered, 'Let's leave it for another time. He might be angry with me now and it's better to wait.' He laughed and continued guiding me to the moon. He landed me on the moon and started to fly away. I could see the Lord sitting on the moon facing the earth. I was afraid to approach him. I began contemplating what I should do, but I couldn't make up my mind. His back was towards me. He knew I was there but he didn't turn around or say anything. It was the most silent time of my life. I rushed on my knees asking for forgiveness because I dissapointed my father. I begged for his forgiveness consecutively. The Lord laughed, smiled, and told me he loves me. I was confused. I asked, 'My Lord...aren't you angry with me?' He said to me, "Why should I be angry with you? There is no reason." I replied, 'I love my father and don't want him to be angry with me." The Lord answered me, "Now is the time for me to tell you. The time has come for me to share something with you." I answered, 'What is it my Lord? Tell me.' He repleid, "In the very beginning, your father was on my mind. You, Roberto, are my heart. And Amira was sitting on my lap for three years before I sent her as a gift for your father. How can the heart be separated from the mind? Or how can the mind be separated from the heart? The mind and the heart and the body are together always."


This was the end of the dream. I guess you can say that this was a long dream, and writing this, I agree! However, look at the love God has for us. He has the most special place in my heart. No one can ever separate me from him. In the words of my father, "You can take anything you want away from me, but you will never take my Lord away from me."


More and more families today are having issues when it comes to kids. I am glad that you have asked this question. Since you took the initiative to ask this question this means that as a parent you care for your children and desire to be closer to them. Now, I can't say that only the child must respect their parents, but the parents must also respect their children. Most parents believe that they do not have to respect their children but only that their children have to respect them. That's not the right way to go about.


I believe in respecting my children and they respect me. If ever my children go on the wrong path I try my best to discipline them so they don't continue along the wrong road. In the same way, my children respect me because they see the true nature of my love for them, and how often I bond with them.


Oftentimes, children can become distant from their parent/parents if they are being mistreated. For example, if both parents show nothing but love, respect, and discipline together, the children will grow up loving both parents. The key word is, together. If you do something but your spouse does something else, I am certain the children will grow up loving one parent more than the other. Therefore, the solution would be to sit down with your spouse and come to an agreement together on how to raise your children moving forward. You cannot have one parent disciplining and the other parent spoiling. All the child will do is more towards the parent that spoils them and they are left rotten.


The second part to parenting aside from disciplining is, love. This is fundamental in raising children. You can do anything in the world for them, but without love it is as if they received nothing. Children are the most beautiful. They are innocent, naive, and pure because of the strength of the Holy Spirit in them. They do not know sin as adults do. We must learn to be like the little children as Jesus says. We must learn to be as pure and innocent as they are.


Therefore, I would recommend that you love and discipline your children together as a united family. Come to a unanimous loving agreement as a family and move forward together. Remember. Unity is the key. Never forget to love, discipline, and remain united together as one. That is what a family in Christ is.


My father and I had very different childhood in terms of social problem, family background, technology and education. Firstly, social problem within my father’s and my own childhood in terms of freedom. As a child, my dad will be playing out the whole day; running, laughing and not worrying. My dad lived in a village where the children from the whole village were a big company.

I’m sad is because of relationship with my mom is getting worse and worse. After calming myself down, I know this topic is unavoidable. Thus, I come out with a solution to solve it. I know the only person who can help me to solve this problem is my dad. So I went to look for my dad and discuss it with him.


I always wanted to do the path my dad & brother did by joining the military. My dad was in the Marines and my brother was in the Navy. I wanted to be independent, further my education and travel. Education, I knew the military had some great programs at the time. My goal is to go to school for nursing.


Shooting Dad on the other hand is not people’s comments or stories, it is like the authors biography. Shooting Dad tells about Vowell and her father, how they fight all the time and rarely agree on anything. The reason I find this part so personal is my dad and I disagree on a lot and rarely agree on anything just like in the story.


The same couldn’t be said for my dad back then, as owning cellphone was considered a luxury. Lastly, people say education is key to every childhood, but in that sense both my father and I had very different education environment and background in our childhood. My dad, back then, lived where education is very scarce.


They weren’t many schools near where my dad lived. My grandmother had to cycle my dad to his school to drop off and pick up daily. If that isn’t bad enough, my father had to have extra classes at the Chinese temple nearby just to learn Mandarin. During my time, my country has already development an effective education system to follow.


The fact that he dreamt about his dad not being with him anymore shows that sub-consciously he knows his dad has gone forever and isn’t going to return. The character believes that his dad “simply vanished” because he didn’t tidy his room. At the end of the poem it says “hope he will come back soon and admire my very tidy room”.


Next, our family background was also very different in terms of social status and financial status. My dad was born a year later after my country’s independence, so technically he was the 1st generation of official Malaysian in Malaysia. My country is also a multiracial country so long story short, my dad had social status issues with other races during his childhood.


When he was 10, my dad experienced things that no child should which was the May 13th Incident. The May 13th incident refers to the Sino-Malay sectarian violence in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in which many Malaysian-Chinese died in 1969. I can only imagine how terrifying it was for my dad to live through that incident as a child.


Back then the time where video games were like rocket science and cellphones where as big as bricks. Entertainment in technology wasn’t really available at my dad’s childhood thus explaining the big company of children playing outside all the time, but it didn’t mean it didn’t exist in that time. Back then, my dad really enjoyed listening to the radio.


So, when a friend of my dad who was working as a Peace Corps volunteer in the Ukraine invited me to visit him for a couple of weeks. But the problem was asking my parents if I could go with him, but then it was not a problem anymore when I asked them as he was a trusted friend of my dad and they were both thinking like me, I thought: “Why not?! I do not know what to expect from this country since I know very little about it.


I used the method of negotiating to discuss with my dad. I told him I love my mom and I don’t want her to upset but I really don’t want to force myself to do anything that I don’t like. After having a talk with my dad, he told me that he will talk to my mum and discuss it with her. After that, my dad helps me to persuade my mom.


I kept thinking what my dad said to me. We Jumped into the truck, and took off to go home. On the way home, I decided to tell my dad when I got back. We pulled into my driveway and I got really nervous. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my stuff. I could hear my dad say, “Don’t do anything strange” in my head ver and over.


My dad was my grandpa’s youngest son, and they are the closest out of all the kids. My dad is just like my grandpa, he’s hard working, tough, and hard of hearing. My dad was always down in the field with my grandpa. My grandpa would rack while my dad bailed hay, and after the boys got done my grandma would have lunch for them after a long day in the fields.


Through all my years of high school I was homeschooled. This was due to the fact that my mom was taking care of my grandparents in Florida, at the time we lived in North Carolina, and my dad traveled for work; therefore, there was no body to take us to school. Online school became the only option in that situation.


The best lesson my dad taught me was……. To always be honest. I’m glad he taught me this because at home if I do something wrong and he knows I’m lying and I tell the truth, I get in less trouble instead of getting things taken away. He tells me the odds are in my favor if I listen. I agree with him because I wouldn’t want my kids to lie to me.


The radio was practically the main source of entertainment in terms of technology; it had music, podcast, news and etc. My dad was considered lucky to even have a colored television in his own home and there was not much to watch as well. I, in my childhood days, had the privilege of watching Disney channel on my decoder with my cartoons.


My father did not receive much financial as a child. During elementary school, my father had to help out with my grandfather’s business. I’m consider very fortunate as my father worked hard to ensure that my childhood did not have to be like his. Then, the advancement of science and technology effect both my dad’s childhood and my own in terms of entertainment.


I wake up around 5:00 A.M. to a big early morning breakfast that my dad had cooked. The smell of the eggs, bacon, and toast made me vivacious. I got out of bed and put my cloths on. Then went and had delicious breakfast. When I was eating I could feel the sense that my dad, brother, and me where going to have so much fun.


Each of these poems outlines different experiences of childhood. “Looking For Dad” talks about divorce and separation, “The Sick Equation” discusses the affects of domestic arguments and “My Grandmother” is about the death of a loved one. But the themes that are constantly mentioned in all the poems are regret and isolation.


The crockery is kept in shelves. The utensils are kept in almirahs. We have cooking gas in the kitchen. My house is neat and clean. It is a place of peace, comfort and love. I like my house very much. Read more: Essays About Home My Dad and Mom live on the ground floor. The top floor is our guest house.


If your gonna lie to your friends its just stupid because eventually they will find and you will lose them. Before I ever answer some thing I ask myself, “is it worth lying about it. ” Then I just follow my conscience. I don’t always make the right choice, but I learn from my mistakes. My dad is 40 years old and he told me had made more mistakes in a year than I do in 13.


There are many traits that I have inherited naturally through genetics from my mom and dad. I can tell that my work ethic has been inherited from my dad because he is a very hard worker and I also strive to achieve my personal best. My mom tends to be very sensitive at times and concerned for other people’s feelings, which I know, I have inherited.


In addition, technology was my source of entertainment with my game consoles and televisions. Which also the cause of me not going out that much as a child. Technology allow my childhood to not need the company of the other, to play with. Communication was also much better thanks to technology. During elementary, affordable cellphones were available where my dad can contact me at any time.


When we finally got there my dad sprayed deer sent that would attract the deer to come closer when the wind carries the sent. After my dad set the deer sent around the trees, now all we had to do was wait. Wait for a deer so we could get a shot off. This trip was around the end of October so it was getting cold.


Although stay-at-home dads have presented a new perspective on the stereotype of family, some objectors who have satirized the at-home dad phenomenon claim that, despite a new awareness about full-time fathers, stay-at-home fathers are still unacceptable for the majority of general public. Because of this the at-home dad trend has difficulties in replacing the traditional family stereotype of gender roles. Nevertheless, the tendency of the stay-at-home dad is necessary for modern families to follow, being that not only a stay-at-home dad is a helpful decision for children’s education, but also a profitable choice for their wives’ work.


I wanted to do more. My mom had prepared me for college, and was ready for me to move to campus and go to school for nursing. After being raised by my mom, and seeing her work hard, and I just lost my step dad a year ago I wanted to save my mom money for paying for my school and show my independence.


They would all play together without fighting and arguing all the time. Heck, my grandparents didn’t have to worry about my dad that much. They are used to let their children play a lot of hours with freedom without being nervous or stressed about it. They knew their children were safe. I, on the other hand, had a must lesser freedom compared to my father.


At that moment something occurred to me, something unexpected. My feeling changed towards my dad with in a second. I realized that I was feeling sorry for my dad that he was always right that if you have self-determination and confidence you can chase and win anything in this world. That day that moment stick in my mind and now whenever I have those kind of situation I always goes back to my earlier days and solved out my problems.


When she was done crying and seem to be doing things to keep her mind occupied, I would go back asking her if she’s ok, she would reply “Leave me alone” with a irritated voice. My dad stopped having conversations with me when arguments started happening with my mom. My dad paid no attention to me, he says his way of showing his love towards me is buying me material things.

The memories are normally reminders of good times and the joys of childhood. But for some people, their childhoods are looked back on in sadness and remorse. In the poems “Looking For Dad”, “My Grandmother” and “The Sick Equation”, the narrators explore the darker sides of childhood. Each poem tells a different story, but are all about tragic memories from shattered childhoods that will scar forever.


In the conversation with my dad, I changed the word ‘Innit’ to say ‘Ya know what I mean’. This is because I know most adults consider slang as bad-mannered and disrespectful. Another reason is because I wouldn’t want my dad or any adult to feel uncomfortable and confused when talking to me if I spoke in the way I do with my friends.


He wouldn’t ever admit it, but these sorts of stories have led me to believe that my dad might have a touch of arachnophobia. When my dad, who is rather fearless and tells stories of brave encounters with rattlesnakes and an angry swarm of yellow jackets, actually showed any sort of fear, it sort of rubbed off on you. So, I was scared of spiders too.


My dad inculcated in me a sense of pride for being an american. When my brother was young, at an assembly, he felt lazy and didn’t do the pledge of allegiance. My dad scolded him and told that he should always do it. My dad would tell me horrible stories of the poverty he had to live through. His family was so poor they would sometimes have to eat animal feed during the dry season.

The father figure in the house…said to my dad, Olga lives underneath our roof so I’m held accountable for her safety and well-being. She is a part of our family so I expect only honorable intentions. My dad respectfully informed him, his interest were for a long-term commitment. A couple of years later my father and mother got married and I came along shortly a year later.

I saw the blood tinged towel and started yelling what happened…what happened but only silence. Finally my son calm as could be I stuck my hand in the meat grinder mommy and it is bleeding. I looked over at his dad and he didn’t have to say a word I just knew and without words his look said it all and I lost it!


I decided that I had to tell my dad. My dad was shocked when I told him what Khloe was considering to do. My dad and I decided to talk to her, luckily we did eventually manage to talk her out of it. My dad had told her that our gran would not have wanted her to be silly and take your her life she would have wanted her to live life to the fullest and enjoy each day as it comes and now when my cousin looks back she realizes just how silly she was to even think of such a thing.

In other words, the public should set the stay-at-home dad family as a good example to make more couples enjoy harmonious and sweet marriages. Stay-at-home fathers enjoy their fatherhood and they cherish the precious time together with their children.


Thank you for taking the time to reach out to me via email. If you are reading and have any questions in particular, kindly reach out to me by email or the contact form on my website. I will try to answer as soon as possible!


May God bless us always.


Walid F Rafo.






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